I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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