This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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