suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize