Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
