girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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