So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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