Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
