dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
