new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
