Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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