Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
