You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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