I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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