idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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