i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
