I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
