after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
