Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
