She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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