why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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