Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
