Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
