cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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