i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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