before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
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You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize