I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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