we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
