so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
