I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
