dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
