Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
