I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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