It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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