The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
