Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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