What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
