Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.

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  (651): It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes. http://tfl.nu/19vc
  Replies (24) Good night (1224) Bad night (4518)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.

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  (570): Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today. http://tfl.nu/c736
  Replies (5) Good night (1063) Bad night (3264)
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  (845): View more from New York

  her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.

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  (845): her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together. http://tfl.nu/creu
  Replies (5) Good night (1348) Bad night (3556)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried

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  (405): He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried http://tfl.nu/s324
  Replies (11) Good night (1444) Bad night (1617)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.

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  (575): I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time. http://tfl.nu/x351
  Replies (6) Good night (2163) Bad night (979)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.

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  (928): I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready. http://tfl.nu/c6az
  Replies (19) Good night (2302) Bad night (764)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.

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  (205): Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420. http://tfl.nu/zl7d
  Replies (3) Good night (1266) Bad night (593)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.

  (844): View more from

  Oh its going to be that type of weekend?

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  (641): Bring my gorilla suit and my bong. (844): Oh its going to be that type of weekend? http://tfl.nu/0lse
  Replies (5) Good night (2474) Bad night (534)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.

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  (516): I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents. http://tfl.nu/ifal
  Replies (2) Good night (461) Bad night (1681)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?

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  (586): Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right? http://tfl.nu/hfcq
  Replies (2) Good night (511) Bad night (399)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.

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  (281): Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever. http://tfl.nu/g095
  Replies (2) Good night (1471) Bad night (296)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  the essentials, lol

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  (306): he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer. (1-306): the essentials, lol http://tfl.nu/fcrf
  Replies (0) Good night (731) Bad night (250)
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  (805): View more from California

  My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday

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  (805): My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday http://tfl.nu/39ab
  Replies (2) Good night (817) Bad night (318)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around

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  (717): Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around http://tfl.nu/yfqo
  Replies (13) Good night (811) Bad night (317)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.

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  (289): One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes. http://tfl.nu/z7m3
  Replies (4) Good night (477) Bad night (218)

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