Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.

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  (703): worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma. http://tfl.nu/3aau
  Replies (5) Good night (720) Bad night (3812)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license

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  (813): i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license http://tfl.nu/t0ir
  Replies (13) Good night (5589) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.

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  (717): can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill. http://tfl.nu/zd59
  Replies (18) Good night (1240) Bad night (5162)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I wish I had your problem

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  (319): I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women (319): I wish I had your problem http://tfl.nu/60uu
  Replies (11) Good night (4717) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number

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  (617): i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number http://tfl.nu/mfjx
  Replies (14) Good night (7073) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  haha i know

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  (406): i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt. (1-406): haha i know http://tfl.nu/vo1w
  Replies (21) Good night (7810) Bad night (1307)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE

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  (256): The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE http://tfl.nu/2u36
  Replies (11) Good night (1386) Bad night (2772)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me

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  (818): Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me http://tfl.nu/ulvi
  Replies (5) Good night (884) Bad night (1709)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.

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  (651): OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high. http://tfl.nu/rjps
  Replies (2) Good night (1349) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.

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  (801): Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey. http://tfl.nu/71bj
  Replies (2) Good night (731) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious

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  (239): We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious http://tfl.nu/iovv
  Replies (6) Good night (784) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it

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  (321): He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it http://tfl.nu/2lkm
  Replies (0) Good night (243) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.

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  (704): no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot. http://tfl.nu/ubnf
  Replies (2) Good night (846) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.

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  (509): You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises. http://tfl.nu/yksg
  Replies (0) Good night (381) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her

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  (+44): She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her http://tfl.nu/9grf
  Replies (0) Good night (454) Bad night (153)

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