Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
