Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.