I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she was so not down for the gang bang
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
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Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
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i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did