I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.