Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud đł
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes âI drove you last nightâ\nâYou got your dick sucked in the back seatâ
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