i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
