Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
