This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
