lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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