Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
