I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
MIDGETS
????
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
