I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
