walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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