I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
