who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
