I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
