DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
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No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
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Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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