just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
