I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
