Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
