Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
