She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
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please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
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I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You're a disaster