I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas