i just wanna soil my oats bro
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
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I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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