dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.