Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
